When it should take 5 minutes...

So...have you ever had that project that should take five minutes and it ends up becoming a thing that drives you slightly nuts? Well, that was today's adventure. I needed to hang something on my backyard wall and on the wall leading up to the front door. Started with with backyard project as a test for the more important hanging in front. And thank Steve, the God of Amiable Fuck Ups, I did. Drilling into stucco or cinder block is a bit different than drilling into good old wood. It took a couple of tries to get the right angle and size screw and...well, you get the idea. Finally success. 

So on to the the main project. I've had this wonderful frog welcome tile, purchased 15 years ago at the Adamson House in Malibu (if you haven't been, look it up -- it's amazing). The day I bought it, I knew exactly where it was going to go and and what would go around it. Yeah, that didn't happen. Then I had the bright idea of hanging it on the way up the front stairs. Et, voilá:

 Makes you smile doesn't she?

Really? Who needs more boxes...

Turns out, I'm always finding projects that have nothing at all to do with what I should be focusing on. I'm sure there's a fancy medical term for keeping busy doing all the minor stuff and none of the important stuff, but I'll leave that to you to figure out. 

You may recall at the beginning of the whole chicken-adopting-me series that I referred to an area of my front yard as "The Thicket." Triangle of doom would be more accurate. Cactus, aloe and agave abound. They are all pointy and nasty. That's actually not bad as it prevents people from tromping through my yard as a shortcut to the sidewalk. However, to soften the look, I planted rows of jade to line said sidewalk. For several years that was a great move. The jade grew tall and lush. Then this year came along. Much of the jade just flopped over, creating a hazard for anyone trying to push a stroller or walk a dog. One area was particularly problematic for us trying to get the waste bin out. While hacking away I noticed that a particular cactus I absolutely hate was growing out of control and closer to people than was polite. So it had to go. With jade, there are no tears at their demise as they never really go away. If you throw them willy nilly into the thicket, they magically take root and grow. If you wish to be more precise, just wait one day for them to heal over and then plunk them into the ground or a pot of your choice. This was the aftermath.

So not pretty. As I'm digging out roots and attracting more cactus spines than the law of physics should allow, my mind was going round and round to figure what to do next. And then the notion dawned: build a huge planter box. Sure, that's the most important thing that needs to be done around the house. Forget the entire notebook of important tasks that have been put off for close to a year (or much, much longer). Go ahead and do something that could wait for a very loooooong time and no one would notice. Well....

It's 5' L x 22" D x 22" H. and made completely with reclaimed materials that have been languishing in the backyard forever. At the moment, it's not pretty at all. Since this photo, the area has been cleaned up a bit more, the box is now level, and it sparked another non-priority task which will use up a bit more of the mess in the back and make me feel very smug all at the same time. But back to the box. Two choices: paint or mosaic. I'm heading toward mosaic, but it depends on how lazy I want to be. And as for what gets planted in it -- I'm a little over jade and would prefer something...else. What though is a toss-up. Stay tuned.

Trying to outwit a chicken is not easy

I believe I've mentioned -- well yes, many times -- that Ninja's great pleasure is destroying my garden. With her vigorous scratching and pecking, she not only upends plants, but creates a massive mess on my patio. Normally I don't get fussed about a few leaves or a bit of dirt. After all, that's just a sign of life well-lived. And the squirrels do their part to be messy and rambunctious and they're still cute. Let's also not forget the bird poop. But given the amount of detritus Ninja can kick up, and how far she can spread mulch and leaves all over the place, I decided is was time for a big clean and a potential solution to some of the mess. First, the big clean (and you will probably not see it this cleared off again in your lifetime):

There are two major spots Ninja likes to disrupt the most and since I had a few bricks lying about from a former project, I decided to create a barrier. Not just any barrier mind you, but one that adds a decorative touch. I've used this type in various places around the garden and clichéd though it may be, I've always liked the look of it. You might also note the dark blue pot (behind the Buddha) next to the tree. I managed to salvage some of the succulents she upended and by putting them in the pot, they should be out of harm's way. Of course, the squirrels may have something to say about that. In my household we're taking bets to see if the pot and barrier are up to the challenge of effectively allowing her highness to scratch and peck to her heart's content and allow me to have a semblance of a clean patio. If it works at all in that location, I'll be adding a border along another prime spot as well. Fingers crossed.

In other Ninja news, she seems to have settled down into a single nest for laying eggs. Against expert advice, I've now chosen to always leave one egg in the nest and harvest the other. In the past, when I've stolen all her eggs, she just finds another spot and it takes a couple of weeks to locate it. I now take a sharpie and put a dot on the egg being left. When another egg appears, I remove the egg with the dot and add a dot to the new egg. This has worked for a week so far and I'm very careful to make sure she doesn't see me raiding her gifts. Of course this is all based on the premise that chickens can't count. Time will tell.

Not being able to have nice things #3,492

Remember a couple of posts ago I showed the colorful corks I stuck on the pointy bits of the agave lining the footpath? I even mentioned in that post that I expected that a cork or two might be taken by passersby. I was so wrong! Someone stole every single cork off every plant, and even came round to the front, where my corks had been happily cheering up walkers for months, and took most of those too. Apparently, trying to have fun and make people smile is not allowed. Say goodbye:

Not to be daunted, I am preparing another garden project and so far it looks like this:

Can anyone guess what these will morph into? And don't worry, the finished products will be securely fastened to prevent theft. I mind about the corks, but they are not a huge loss in the grand scheme of things. But woe betide the mortal who messes with my other projects!

Two funnies

So I finished scraping out the drawer/shelf I've been working on preparatory to decoupaging the interior with a different theme. After cleaning it out, I left it to dry and came out to find a present from one of the numerous squirrels I feed. Can you spot the walnut?

My little Sassy, who has been increasingly endearing and loving since her experience in the hospital, has also been exhibiting stranger and stranger behaviors. Nothing alarming - just strange. This is how she decided to nap:

I rest my case.

Possum and Ninja and projects, oh my

Well, the possum decided to move on in short order and declined the food and water. Fair enough. And that night, I saw another possum who was not so thrilled that my big bear wanted to get up in her business. Seeing one possum in a day is remarkable, but two means the universe is trying to right itself. When we moved to our neighborhood, we saw raccoons, possums, skunks and coyotes regularly. In fact, there was a racoon family that liked to lounge on our patio furniture and looked askance when one of the mere humans wanted to take advantage of a cool evening. The last few years have seen a huge decline in wildlife, so to see a couple of very cute critters who've been absent for too long is a blessing.

Tonight was watering the yard night and Ninja was fine with that until I stopped watering to work on a project or two. Since evening was rapidly approaching I suspect she wanted to get settled for the night, so she stood on our wall and read me the riot act. The mouth on that girl is astounding.

Speaking of projects, I discovered an old dresser drawer that someone had made into a keepsake shelf. I liked the idea of that and am in the process of scraping off their background to figure out what I'd like to do instead. Here it is partially scraped off:

When I complete the transformation, I'll post a picture.

It's Official - I'm FREEEEEEE

So -- retirement is official and I've had time to start multiple projects. Mostly really boring stuff like cleaning out closets and drawers and cabinets (hard to believe how many are in a house!), but every now and then I take another shot at the garden. After installing a bed in the side yard 5 (count 'em 5) years ago, I decided to see how actually planting something in it might look. I don't know why I chose marigolds other than I really think they are very cheerful flowers, but here they are at last. I've already decided to dig some of them up and pot them and eventually plant either African daisies or mung beans or something, but for what it's worth, here's what it looks like now.

Also, as I was noodling around in the back yard, I noticed the irises made it into bloom. What amazes me is the color variation in them.

Mind you, the entire back garden needs to be re-vamped since our magnificent Chinese Elm had to be butchered back. What was once an oasis of shade and calm under a huge leafy canopy is now very sunny and hot. That meant taking out many plants and transferring them to nooks and crannies so they could thrive, and finding sun-loving plants to take their place. Yet another challenge (and I'm loving it).

Murphy's Law and Other Insights

Murphy had many laws - the most famous of which is, "If something can go wrong, it will." In my case it's more like, "If something can take far longer than it should, it will." So my grand plan of installing the - I hesitate to say art piece - main attraction in the front yard by the end of my vacation is one of those Murphy's law things. Then again, it's frustrating when there are so many projects beckoning, and one wants so badly to finish them. Many good things were accomplished, so that's satisfying, but it would have been better to get a few more items completely ticked off the old TO DO list. The other thing is my version of ADHD. As I walk around the (very extended) neighborhood, I can't help but get excited by some new garden plan or decoration. Having just discovered Pinterest, that also make for more distractions from actually working. Now, realizing that some projects were false starts and having to back-track wasted a bit of time, I don't count that as slacking off. After all, how do you know if you don't try? 

Found another couple of gardens and garden elements I really like. 

This home was mostly boring lawn and then there were these little areas that had cute vignettes. 

The next garden is almost Japanese in feel with slight terracing and plants that  have simple architectural shapes.

The last pictures are my solution to a very boring cracked footpath leading to the house. I didn't like the straight shot to the steps and wanted a sexier curve. I also wanted to use up some stray paving stones, brick and rocks I had managed to scavenge - legally and with permission from owners people. Keep it nice.